The Good Ol' South-sometimes wish I were a Northerner!!!

Ronda at Queentutt's World of Escapism is my source for this wonderful gem of Southern "mentality"... I love email's that make me smile and groan at the same time! Thanks Ronda this one really does have some truth in it, especially the last one about Texas....

[Disclaimer to the general public: This post is not meant to offend Southerners or anyone else as it is just jokes compiled that portray us as a little lacking in social etiquette a bit slow on the uptake and generally easy to find a reason to make the "butt of a joke", all meant in fun not as a put down so I hope you laugh not frown..]
Subject: The Good Ol' South
(different states are "spotlighted")
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.  That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke o' some kind.  He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry layin' out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter.  "But I figured no one's gonna  steal Henry!"

The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. 
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help.  If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."
A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."
When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" 
Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?" 
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

North Carolina

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.  Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back.  He asked the fellow what the problem was. 
The man replied, "I got a flat tahr." 
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" 
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back.  I never did understand it neither."
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65.  
The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" 
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.  The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch?  Don't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep," he replied.  "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "

Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South, but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North.

gif from photobucket

What about you are you from the Southern or the Northern part of the country and what peculiar traits stand out that you find funny about folks in your part of the world?
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Aurian said...

That sure is funny! Thank Jackie.

Jackie Burris said...

Glad you enjoyed the offbeat humor, sometimes we all need a little chuckle during the day to help make it through!

Melissa (My World...in words and pages) said...

Ahaha, These were good. :D THank you for sharing them. lol!

Jackie Burris said...

I am glad you liked, guess they were not too out there after all! LOL

Nissie said...

These are too funny, Jackie! I'm from the south (NC) and I think just about everything about us seems peculiar to the rest of the world. But that's just how I like it! :D

Nissie said...

Oh, and there are some really funny videos on youtube called Sh!t Southern Women Say, if you want to check those out!

Jackie Burris said...

Our heritage "bless our hearts" is just incomprehensible to anyone not born on the right side of a Southern state, we are not all rubes though even if we do speak; think and act funny.

Nissie I will have to hit YT and look em up.